It took two bloody days to get this uploaded and processed by YouTube so you better like it! Here we are anyway, nattering away while cruising (or should I say queuing?) along the rainy streets of Newcastle-Under-Lyme, Hanley, Burslem, Porthill, Trentham, and Meir.
This time we’re coming at ya from lazy boy like seats of Chris’ Grand Cherokee, technically making this the most expensive episode we’ve made. If that’s not good enough, we’re being borderline useful by going over some of the biggest automotive events of the year. We also captured our journey through exotic Stoke-on-Trent too, so you can watch this one on YouTube if you want and sort of partake in what would be the most depressing open top bus tour in history. So sit thee down, drink thee brew, and get the skinny on 2016.
Remember when we kept calm and carried on? What happened? A nation of stiff upper-lips and orderly queuers seems to have become tainted by a class of motorist who can’t see past the end of their own bonnet. Today Andrew has reached breaking point. He’s way past eye rolling, there cannot be enough tutting, and the rage induced shaking of his hands makes writing a letter impossible – only one thing left then, a quick solo rant via the medium of podcast. The message, nobody’s a special fucking snowflake. HAPPY CHRISTMAS!
If Top Gear was a dessert, it would be a pavlova, so that begs the question, does that mean that the only fair way to describe The Grand Tour is an Eaton Mess? In this episode we tackle a subject so ingrained in car culture that we’ve dedicated not just the whole podcast to it but an extra half an hour. We go over the history, the memorable moments, and where we are now, while trying to mine our way down to the core of what has made the show so appealing. This episode is quite frankly the most magnificent piece of audio to ever come out of a shed. Power!
Do you like listening to people talking into your ears while images move in front of your face? You crazy kid! Did your mum give you too much Sunny-D or something? Well, how about this, you can watch our Episode V podcast while seemingly joining us from within Andrew’s new-to-him Wagon-R RR.
We’re on the road this time round. Coming at you from within the cavernous confines of Andrew’s new Suzuki Wagon-R RR. After a shopping list of corrections covering our previous misspeaking, we ask ourselves, Celicas – what’s going on? We also have a right old whinge about the new MINI Countryman, about how obese (and depressed) it’s looking. Following that, and a healthy serving of oatcakes, we discuss the forthcoming age of the oligarchical land-yacht and if computers are going to make living with a 18.5ft long car possible.
Look at us managing to natter on for less than an hour! For this episode we raise a question absolutely nobody is asking; are Citroëns are too weird for their own good? I mean, we like ’em, but we’d feel a proper plonker driving some of ’em in a few years. Andrew’s bought a new car by the way. Can you guess what country it comes from? We also discuss a future where autonomous German cars might be programmed to be just as arrogant as their owners and inappropriate ways to euthanise a terminally ill hamster.
We’re proper now! This time round, we’re asking all the important questions like, are we due a secondhand supercar glut, and does owning a Capri always make you look like a rapist? Dawson’s also regales us with tales of a few cars he’s spotted in the area, one of which is so interesting he forgets what it is mid-recording. Oh, and it’s been five minutes since Porsche last told us they make proper hairy bottomed driver’s cars. They do, ya know? Stop laughing.
Crikey! Look at us go. Episode 2 already. We’ve barely had time to get kettle on. We’ve found time though – of course we’ve found time! This time round we finish up going on about our self-important-selves by trying to quickly go over the cars of our past, present, and (hopefully) future. It’s harder than you think. We’ve also made a little change to our format too with tea breaks included for your convenience – a-thankyou-very-much.
For our first episode, we introduce ourselves, have a little chat about being a car fan in the Staffordshire Moorlands, and get interrupted by Andrew’s mum! It’s all there though, the spiralling lanes, fifty-pound, snotters, and the right of passage that’s grown from car park crew to Fezi park cruise. Plus we pose the question, is the kind of car fan who doesn’t know an Escort Cosworth’s 4wd the kind of car fan you really want to be hanging around with?